Chapel Talk by Molly Chapman '11

When I was younger and my mom used to mention to her friends that she was training with O’Neil Medley, they would gain respect for her because of her ability to withstand his difficult workouts. O’Neil had the ability to turn good athletes into great ones and, thanks to my parents, I would have the opportunity to train with him in the summer before my senior year.

 

I was going to devote several hours every week for the entire summer to getting beaten up by O’Neil. While I couldn’t wait to start, I was also extremely nervous. The first time we worked out he sensed my nervousness, as I wasn’t very talkative, which is unlike me as most of you know. Luckily the World Cup was on that day, which gave us something to talk about right away. O’Neil told me that he wanted the Dutch team to win. I honestly had no preference, so I just rooted for them with him. As the summer started rolling, the sessions got harder. But we also grew closer. He pushed me in ways that I had no idea anyone could and he helped me achieve things I didn’t think were possible.

 

July 4th is now a day I will never forget. It started with my calling O’Neil to reschedule our session for the next day. For some strange reason he didn’t pick up the phone. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. Later that day my family went out for dinner and fireworks. My aunt, uncle, mom, and dad always watched from the balcony, and after the fireworks were done, I wandered over to find them to go home. When I found them, I then had to look for my siblings. My mom spotted my brother on his cell phone, which is against the rules, so my mom sent Eliza to tell him to get off. Little did my mom know that what Billy was about to tell her was going to change our lives forever. Billy came up the balcony and whispered something in my mom’s ear. He seemed flustered, but I had no idea what was going on. The next thing I knew my mom was crying like I never thought possible. A million thoughts began racing through my head: I first thought someone had crashed into my mom’s car, but that seemed like nothing compared to the truth. My brother then turned to me and said, “O’Neil is dead. He got into a motorcycle accident, and he died in the helicopter that was taking him to the hospital.” I went numb. This was the worst thing I had ever heard in my life. I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I looked for my dad for support; but he wasn’t around because he had gone to get the car to drive us home. But my uncle went to tell him the terrible news and immediately my dad returned to comfort my family.

 

I didn’t know how to react because up to that point in my life, I had never experienced a death of someone so close to me. I cried for about 24 hours straight. I had lost a good friend and a mentor. O’Neil helped me to get more out of my athletic ability. He genuinely cared about helping me as an athlete and a person. I respected him greatly and did my best to meet his expectations for me.

 

For the next couple of days I was a complete mess. I don’t think I left my house. I needed a wake up call; I knew that I couldn’t dwell on this because no matter how much I cried or how much my mom and I talked about O’Neil, he wasn’t going to come back. The hardest thing for me to was to accept that harsh reality. To me it just felt like he was on vacation and that was the only thing that kept me happy some days, but I would shortly be reminded he was gone forever. I would always tell myself everything happens for a reason. But I hadn’t figured out that reason yet.

 

I had never been to a funeral, so I was very anxious about going to his. O’Neil’s family had made arrangements at a small church in Stamford, which was overflowing with his friends, family, admirers and, most of the kids who had trained with O’Neil. Some of my tears were happy ones because the size of crowd in the church that day made evident the impact O’Neil clearly had on everyone.

 

At his service I had an epiphany. I remember the words the preacher said, “Everyone is given a certain task at birth and once a person fulfills his or her task, it is his or her time to go. O’Neil has fulfilled his task, and he’s now in heaven attempting a new one.” Those words stuck in my head, and I still think about them everyday.

 

As summer came to a close, I knew I needed to be the best person I could be to make O’Neil proud. However, I didn’t know how to do that and still be myself. O’Neil was especially interested in my college search. He had more faith in my ability to play college sports than I did. When I got my acceptance letter, I wanted desperately to call him to share the good news. But I knew that he was looking down on me as I opened the letter.

 

Many things in my life have changed because of his death. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. As days go by I get closer to realizing what that specific reason is, but obviously I will never know the true reason. But every day I feel as if I come closer to accepting death as something that happens to everyone and understanding that wasting a moment to dwell on it is not worth anyone’s time. The week after O’Neil died I was a wreck, but looking back I feel like I just spent my time crying over something that already was, instead of trying to be a better person for him. I feel that I am stronger now after having been put through that experience in my life. I certainly am greatful for all that he taught me.

 

Throughout my time here at Millbrook, I can honestly say I have changed dramatically. O’Neil’s death has truly helped me appreciate the gifts that have been given, such as the opportunity to attend school here. I think without having dealt with his death, Millbrook would just be school to me, but because of the way his death has impacted me, Millbrook isn’t just school, it has become home to me, and a home that will be so hard to leave come graduation. O’Neil always said, “Only the strong survive,” which has now been a phrase that motivates me every day.